All Growed Up and On Their Way

Yesterday I got a message on FACEBOOK from two of my nieces, Becky and Katie. Becky recently graduated from college, is headed to Portland for August and then Paris for 10 months to be an au pair. Katie is leaving on the 15th to start the adventure called college. Dayton, Ohio will be her home for the next four years.


It has been fun and amazing watching them grow up and become the confident, grounded women they are today. We are so proud of both of them and know that they will be a blessing to the lives they touch.


I have been pondering how different the world is for Becky and Katie than it was in 1973 when I headed off to college with a manual typewriter and lots of pens. Now students at Houghton are issued a laptop and backpack with their freshman ID passes.


In 1973 there were 2 or 3 TVs on campus and one phone in the hall for 30 girls to share. Now students can text each other in class on their cell phones and watch TV on their IPOD if they are bored.


To connect with other students on campus I either had to find them or call and hope they were in their rooms. Seeing each other's pictures meant crowding into someone's room and passing around a set of glossy pictures fresh from the Fotomat. But FACEBOOK has emerged and changed all that!


I know it started out as a way for students to connect on campuses but...
I think it is a wonderful way to connect with people we have "lost" from our past. I have connected with two old pals from the '77 Houghton gang and hope to connect with others soon.


Each friend we make touches our lives in a different way. Too soon we have gone our separate ways and it is easy to lose the connection. Depending on snail mail was a tough way to stay in touch. For people like me who put mail at the bottom of my list it was nearly impossible.


Seven of us tried mailing a journal through the group, each one sending it on to the next person. It took about 3 months to go through the group and I think it only made the rounds twice. I'm sure I was the one who dropped the ball!!


My advice to Katie and Becky.

"Don't lose the people you have in your life now or the ones you are still to meet. Stay connected!! Stay in touch!! Keep your FACEBOOK alive. Never let go of those treasures called friends. It's so much easier to keep them than to try and reconnect. And by the way, thanks for letting me be one of your FACEBOOK friends!! Love, Aunt Sharon"

SAYING GOODBYE

Gratitude & Simplicity

Sometimes we don't recognize the gifts we have until we stop to ponder...












~majestic wind turbines, works of art in the sky














~the cold tickle of waves on toes
~a heart-once stopped -now beating again














~sand, smiles, silliness and sun













~our own private beach, others chased away by raindrops

Who knows what tomorrow will bring...
~~~today I am blessed with the treasures I find in God's sandbox.

Miracles in the Little Things

Miracles in the Little Things...

Sometimes change comes slowly and painfully

sometimes change comes with a force that rivals Niagara Falls

but sometimes change comes gently

with laughter and silliness and love.

I am blessed beyond measure ...

I am blessed beyond measure...

There is one thing about life than not many would debate.

Life breaks your heart...

All of us, whether we know it or not, whether we admit it or not, have had our hearts broken by life's seen and unseen, known and unknown cruelties. Because of our hurt we build walls of pain in our hearts. In protecting ourselves we shut out and hurt others. Those walls separate us from people we cherish.

I have been separated from these three, beautiful little girls for more than a decade. Once upon a time I was their Aunt Sharon. We played and laughed and cuddled and sang silly songs and all fell asleep together on a big, bumpy pull out couch. Then the stuff off life got in the way. The storms came and our wounds were deep. We built thick, strong walls of pain to protect our hearts. Those walls have kept us apart.




Those three little girls are now beautiful women with families of their own. Grace alone has brought us back together. God in his mercy has sent showers of blessing and made it possible for us to reconnect.


Reconnect sounds so blah. I don't mean reconnect as in sharing about our accomplishments, favorite vacations or taking a walk down memory lane. The biggest miracle has the freedom we have felt to share our stories, reveal our hearts and embrace healing.


I am thrilled that this is only the beginning of the story. We are just learning to trust again, to love again, to know each other again. I'm sure the road will have bumps- it always does. But I am anxious to enjoy the beautiful tapestry as God weaves our lives back together. For now I am blessed beyond measure to be "Aunt Sharon" again.

"Company Eyes"

"Company Eyes"
~~ When did that happen? I wonder how long it has been that way.

Why is it that when you are getting ready for company, your eyesight suddenly improves? You begin to see the scratches in the woodwork and you wonder when that happened. The splitting seams in the wallpaper suddenly become visible and the tomato sauce that has dried in a puddle under your stove becomes a beacon of mess. AND you notice that the ceiling in the hallway is peeling all around the light fixture.


My two older sisters are arriving on Thursday. They are both organized, detail orientated and neat. Some how I missed the give away of those qualities!! Now my "company eyes" are seeing many things I have missed for months!


"Company eyes" remind me of having "spouse eyes" or maybe "parent eyes" or "kid eyes". One person sees the laundry basket at the top of the stairs waiting to be taken down, the other one doesn't. One person notices the minute scratches in the paint on the new car, the other doesn't. One person notices that the garbage needs emptying, the other one doesn't. One person notices that the big game is on at 7 and the other one doesn't.


The bottom line is that we see what is most important to US at the moment. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could see with "God Eyes" all the time? To see what is important to Him through his eyes.


I know one thing for sure, we would see people differently. We would see their needs rather than their faults. We would see their wounded heart rather than their annoying habits. We would see them through the eyes of perfect love. We would also see ourselves differently ~ perfect in His eyes.


I guess "company eyes" isn't such a bad thing. It is good to have heightened awareness at times but we would go crazy if all we could see every day were the imperfections in our surroundings. I pray that I can block out the imperfections of others and see them with "God Eyes". After all their toothpicks of imperfection are nothing compared to my logs.

Writing-can get to your heart! cont.

I found an amazing quote on the blog Out of the Mess by Daisymarie
http://holdingthemirror.blogspot.com

What a wonderful affirmation of the power writing can have in our lives.


"Writing is a process in which we discover what lives in us. The writing itself reveals what is alive. The deepest satisfaction of writing is precisely that it opens up new spaces within us of which we were not aware before we started to write.

To write is to embark on a journey whose final destination we do not know. Thus, creative writing requires a real act of trust. We have to say to ourselves, “I do not yet know what I carry in my heart, but I trust that it will emerge as I write.”

Writing is like giving away the few loaves and fishes one has, trusting that they will multiply in the giving. Once we dare to “give away” on paper the few thoughts that come to us, we start discovering how much is hidden underneath…and gradually come in touch with our own riches." (Reflections on Theological Education)

Thank you Daisy Marie!

Praying in Color

Sometimes when I go to a bookstore or library without a plan, I feel overwhelmed by the choices. I decided to ask God to help me find the one book I really needed to buy or read.

On a cold, spitting day last winter, I wandered around the library, wishing for a book to warm my heart. Frustrated by my lack of treasure finding ~ I asked. He answered! There in the "New Non-Fiction" section was a skinny book, tucked and twisted behind a thick academic looking tome, but it that caught my eye.

Praying in Color by Sybil MacBeth was the book. As I paged through, I caught a sentence about being overwhelmed with so many needs to pray for. I was hooked. Luckily I was able to renew it twice online, and managed a third forced renewal.

The book made the rounds through my friends. K sent an email with the subject line “I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ALL MY LIFE”. However, sharing the book with friends surprised me! I found out this book is not for everyone. Some women responded like they had found the answer to their "prayers". (Pun intended) Others thought it was too much bother or work. One woman said she would just rather journal and not fuss with colors. I think the difference is your personal "way of thinking" or processing.

If you are more right-brained like me, you probably will love this book!! It will set you free in many ways!! If you are more-left brained you may not respond to the book- but who knows???

That's all I will say for now. I'll leave the adventure up to you. I'd love to hear what you think!!

Visit www.prayingincolor.com

This is the back cover...

Writing-can get to your heart!

writing ~ it can get to your heart

~~No I’m not talking about the beautifully penned words of other people ~ though often those go straight to the heart.

~~ I’m talking about letting your pen, keyboard, crayon, or quill reveal what is in your heart.

~~ I have been blogging for all of ~~ mmmm 48 hours maybe ~~ but being back into the writing world has quickly reminded me of the power of writing to help us know ourselves.

~~ One summer, long ago, I took the huge risk of entering the National Writing Project for 6 weeks. I was not writer and I knew I was getting in over my head but I wanted the challenge. I wanted to experience what students experience when asked to write. I wanted to be pushed to improve my skills. I was right about being in over my head ~ just not the way I thought.

~~ I will never forget our leader/teacher/fellow sojourner Dave addressing us with a warning. These aren’t his exact words but this is the message I took away.

“In the end, writing is the fastest way to reveal your heart. We write for many reasons, to inform, to express, to entertain but the most powerful reasons to write are to figure out what you think and to reveal your heart.

For some of you this will not be a comfortable journey. Six weeks from now you will know things about yourself that you do not now know. Maybe things you wish you could put away and not remember, maybe attitudes or bents that surprise you, maybe passions or loves that have been pushed aside.

I cannot promise you that you will ever publish a bestselling book, I cannot promise you the world will embrace your poetry, I cannot promise you that your idea for the great American novel will get any farther that the first page, but I can promise you a journey, that if you embrace it, will change your life.”

~For the next six weeks I was enveloped in a community of writers that cared about each other, took risks in writing and relationships and grabbed the ring of challenge to let writing reveal our hearts.

~When I look back, it feels more like a six week therapy session than a writing project. I did gain skills and confidence in writing and went back to school armed with loads of strategies. However the most meaningful part was the 2 hours we spent each day in our 6 woman writing group, sequestered away from the others. Day after day we listened to each other’s writing, challenged each other to go deeper, critiqued and took criticism. We tried poetry, prose, non-fiction, we found niches and types of writing we hated. We also formed a searing bond as we shared our hearts through our writing.

~ Natalie Goldberg, in her book Writing Down the Bones offers a strategy for getting at what is in your heart. I call it the “Magic Pen” with my students. I have used this strategy alone, with friends, with classes of 2^nd graders and college kids. I am always amazed at the results.

~ Are you interested? Are you a believer or a skeptic? Are you willing to take a risk? Here goes…

(Disclaimer- I haven’t read Natalie for a while so I’m sure I have modified her strategy. These are the rules that work for me)

“Magic Pen” Strategy for Revealing My Heart

You will need a timer, paper and a pen that writes quickly and easily. Natalie suggests a fountain pen.

You must make and stick to two decisions before you begin.

1. Choose a rescue word- this can be any word. It is the word you will write over and over when you get stuck. I usually choose a positive, easy to write word like love. If I am angry and trying to figure out why I might choose mad or stomp or yell.

2. How long will you write? You can not violate this decision. You must stop when the timer rings. This is important especially if you want this to work for you again.

Get Ready

1. Set the timer. ( 2-5 min. is a good place to start)

You may want to choose a topic ahead of time ~ it will be your starting place. You might start with a question. How do I feel about my new living room couch? Or How do I feel about my relationship with my son? You might start with a topic ~ football, marriage, cooking, women’s rights. You might start with pondering what makes me happy, sad, tired, cranky etc.?

2. Get set up in a comfortable place. Have an extra pen ready.

3. Follow the rules

The Rules

1. Once the timer starts you have to start writing and not stop until the timer rings.

2. Write as fast as you possibly can.

3. Write what every thought comes into your brain. Don’t worry if you are jumping all over the place, if your thoughts are disconnected. Don’t worry if what you write makes no sense or seems sill. Just keep writing.

4. Do not go back and reread.

5. Do not cross out or correct. If you make a mistake just pretend it is not there and keep writing.

6. If your mind goes blank use your rescue word again and again until something else comes into your brain.

7. Make sure you stop when the timer rings. (This is a safety net for your brain and emotions.) You may finish the word or sentence you were writing but don’t take more than 30 sec. to do it.

8. Give yourself a minute or two to decompress, get a drink, take a deep breath.

9. Debrief right away. After the effort of writing you may feel like walking away but don’t. If you are with a group take turns reading your writing to each other. The read may ask for comments or not. If you are alone, ask yourself what you notice about what you have read.

*Don’t be surprised if you are saying ~ Hmmm that didn’t work for me…

But ~~~Are you ready to start again? Push yourself to at least 2 timed writings at a time. Your sub conscious is just getting warmed up after the first one.

~ My guess is you will be amazed! Soon I will share the story of doing “magic pen” with two college friends one summer. The results were revealing, helpful and brought healing! It took us 3 ten minute sessions to finally get to the important stuff. Don’t give up.

Redemption in the Garden

One gray April morning, my neighbor came bursting out of her house, big smile on her face, dishpan looking thing in her hand, determination in her stride. Skipping any formalities like hello, she excitedly began telling me about the yummy tomatoes she had eaten 2 years ago. They were the best she had ever eaten so she decided to dry the seeds. Spring came and went and the seeds were forgotten.

Like a proud mama, she thrust the dishpan into my hands. I looked into the faces of what seemed like 100’s of tiny, fragile shoots, barely able to stand up on their own. They looked a bit anemic and sad actually. As she headed back to her house to get the “babies” out of the cold, she promised to share some plants after Memorial Day. (That’s the day you can wear white pants and baby tomato plants come out to be planted!)

I really didn’t think much about it until the day I was presented with four 2 inch tomato babies. We both marveled at their survival and at God’s ingenious cycle of life -seeds, growth, plants, fruit, harvest, death, dormant life, seeds, growth… and on it goes.

I planted the babies in a BIG pot- or so it looked at the time. I carefully watered, fed, and covered those babies with blankets on cold nights. Not much happened. Two weeks after planting, all four babies lay flat down on the dirt while I was watering. I waited to see if they were just playing with me. Surely they would pop right back up. No popping – no “surprise we're just kidding”. Heading inside, I questioned whether they were going to survive!

The next morning they were up but leaning and by the time I got home from work they had recovered. Soon they began to gain strength. I noticed they were standing up straighter – their little stems were thickening, I wondered if the two weeks had been “root growth” time. With deep roots gripping the soil, they were finally able to start their upward growth.

The day before we left for vacation the babies had grown into toddlers and just look at them now.

All this talk of growing has me thinking about the dormant seeds in each one of us. What beautiful plants are waiting to grow in our lives? Maybe - plants of talent, plants of relationships, plants of productivity and plants of change. God’s ingenious cycle of life is not restricted to the plant community. We are each offered the opportunity to be a part of the Master’s plan.

When I look at the tall, strong tomato “tree” that is threatening to burst out of its pot, I am amazed by the strength and life that was once dormant in a dried up seed sitting in a forgotten envelope in the back of someone’s drawer. Now it is a vital, vibrant plant with yellow promises of fruit starting to appear.

There are times in my life when I feel like the dried up seed, forgotten, alone and useless. There are other times when I experience life as vibrant as the giving tomato tree, growing at a pace I can hardly keep up with. More often I experience growth in one area and death in another. I love the verse that assures us that “the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead is at work us.”

This is THE MESSAGE version: “ It stands to reason, doesn't it, that if the alive-and-present God who raised Jesus from the dead moves into your life, he'll do the same thing in you that he did in Jesus, bringing you alive to himself? When God lives and breathes in you (and he does, as surely as he did in Jesus), you are delivered from that dead life. With his Spirit living in you, your body will be as alive as Christ's!” Romans 8:10-11

The part of the life cycle I resist is death. Who likes to die? Even in little ways I resist death or giving anything up. But new life does not come without death. I know that to truly LIVE I need to change which is a kind of death.

When fall comes, my beautiful tomato tree bursting with life now, will have given its fruit, spent its energy and begin to lose its life force. With the first frost death will come. But death does not come without the promise of life. If the gardener is smart she will save the seeds of promise, cooperate with the Master’s plan and enjoy the new harvest next year.

Vacation Inertia

Vacation Inertia

- Do you ever experience it??

I find myself in that weird wasteland between vacation and real life. Having just returned from a very fun and busy trip to San Francisco and Sacramento I find myself wandering around not quite sure what to do.

Before I left on vacation I could shower, get dressed and be out of the house in 30 minutes. After returning the same 30 minutes is being spent on remembering how to turn on the shower and where I put my clothes. I’m lucky to leave the house at noon.

Before I left on vacation I had multiple lists going for packing, ending the school year and chores for our teenage helper to do while we were gone. After returning lists seem to make no sense, I watch the suitcases but they don’t seem to be unpacking themselves, I can’t seem to remember the teenager's name or how much I owe him and as for school it is a distant memory.

Before I left on vacation I had a plan for getting the house and meals ready for my sisters who are arriving next Thursday. Every day had assignments and I was confident I could be ready. After returning the days are slipping by with no progress, no lists and no motivation!!

I must admit this happens to me every summer but not to this extent. I have always wondered why during the school year it takes me 15 minutes to clean the bathroom but in the summer it may take an hour or two! I know soon I will be able to kick it into gear. I think this may just be my re-entry process. (Remember the early astronauts)

For those linear processing folks out there, I envy your ability to just keep walking the straight line- one thought after another, one task after another, one event after another- all in straight line. You probably can’t imagine this process.

But for my global processing kin-folk- I’m sure you can relate. Our way of thinking and processing is frustrating sometimes but at other times it can be a glorious delight!!

…And for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about just enjoy the ride- isn’t that what blogs are for??? Monitor your re-entry next time you return from a vacation – it may clue you in.

Welcome to my blog...

Welcome to my new BLOG

Muses and Mudderings

You might be asking - where did that name come from??

Consider the following…

To muse = to think, ponder, consider ruminate, mull over, chew over and reflect on

To mutter – to speak softly, whisper (possibly to indicate you aren’t certain)

Mutter can also mean to , grouse, moan, complain but that’s not the definition I am using!!

In Newfoundland (a place we love) mother is pronounced mudder. If you have read THE SHACK you know that Papa is a wonderful “Mudder” to all. (Did I get your attention?) She gives love and truth to all who will listen. (check out http://www.amazon.com/Shack-William-P-Young/dp/0964729237/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1216324773&sr=8-2 )

So you put all that together and figure out what mudderings might be (I will be doing the same as I type )

And for those who know me well you will smile at the alliteration!!

My inspiration came from a beautiful blogger named Tasha! I visit her blog every day to be inspired, challenged and get one more look at those beautiful children. Here is the address because I know you will want to visit- especially if you have children or are a child at heart.

diary of a suburban momma - http://www.ellieanddelaney.blogspot.com/

That’s it – the beginning of the story….